Hi, my name is Oscar - or "No" or "Drop It", depending... I just came to this new household where I have an older sister named Maddie (she's kind of a dominatrix) and a mom and dad. They're pretty cool. My favorite activities are jumping and chewing on anything. (When I say anything, I mean anything). If it's on the floor, or the coffee tables, it's game. Mom says that picking up my poop is like a treasure hunt. The other day I ate the tag off of some linen for my bed, and she could still read it! I amaze myself. My mom calls me a "corker" (she's into English, Irish and Scottish stuff lately - especially the whiskey!), or a "little shit". But I know she loves me. She bought me a nice collar and tag, and even a new coat which she says is like my cousin Max's. I don't know what a cousin is. I don't know what Max is. But it's a nice coat. She also bought me a stupid reindeer headress - she is harboring a fantasy that Maddie will run around with her Santa hat on, and I will be her reindeer. She has another think coming. But I have to humor her a little since she doesn't have other kids.
I am trying to type this letter, but she says I'm not a very good typist, so mostly I just sit here and try to crawl on the laptop.
I gotta' go, time for some training I think. I mostly have "sit" down, but you know, "sit", "lie down" - whatever!!